oops it’s blurry but i like what i’m wearing tonight + no bra on = a happy camper
i wonder what James would think lol
may 22| i waited in front of In-N-Out at 11:30am for James but he came a little late because the poor hunk got lost and when i saw him park and got out of the car i saw him going for his phone in his pocket i guess to see where i was but he looked up and we made eye contact and i couldn’t stop smiling so i had to look away because i felt like a fool in love but when he finally got to me we hugged and this time it didn’t feel weird like it usually did whenever we go a long period without seeing each other then he kissed me on the lips which made me really happy because i don’t ever want to stop kissing him then we walked over to Taco Bell holding hands and he kept looking at me and told me i got skinnier and got sad when he noticed my double chin has disappeared lol when we got there i ordered soft tacos and he ordered Doritos Loco Tacos and he put change in my purse while we were getting our drinks because he didn’t have enough so i paid for his food but then i ended up having to give half of his change back because he wanted nachos lol god
when we were done he kept touching my butt when we were walking to the car lol then we went to go get a parking permit but along the way we got into an argument because i’m really bad with maps so we were going the right way when i thought we were going the wrong way it was horrible but when we got to the UCI Medical Center for work, he apologized and kissed me and we were okay again
we went upstairs to the waiting room and signed in and Sharon came in to talk to everyone and she gave James a tour of the building and we went to our rooms and did the whole enchilada of being a standardized patient and when i was done i went to the waiting room because James had finished early and was sitting there waiting for me so when i came in he immediately got up and was like “awwww baby” and he hugged me and i asked him how it went and how he liked it and we stood there talking and kissing for a bit until i remembered there were cameras and there might’ve possibly been people watching us lol so we left
as we were walking back to the car, i got sad because i realized we wouldn’t be able to spend more time together, but he kept holding me close and saying it was okay that we’ll see each other again soon then we got in the car and Priscilla called to see if she had to pick me up but i told her i had to go to the bank because James needed the money and can’t wait a month to get his check in the mail and that he would drop me off at the restaurant
we went to the bank then he took me to RA Sushi where i was going to be having dinner and he parked so we could say goodbye but we smoked weed and man i miss it so much the last time i smoked was the Bel Air he gave me on birthday which was a month and a half ago god it was great it only took me 2 hits to get stoned outta my mind and then we did a little sumthin’ sumthin’ in the backseat and then we said goodbye and i watched him drive away :’(
i walked to the restaurant and met up with Priscilla, my Aunt Olivia, and her sister Penny, and tried not to eat everything in sight but still managed to make a mess on my plate because the most hardest thing you can do when you’re high is using chopsticks god it was pathetic then afterwards we went to go see Cody, Penny’s chubby chihuahua, he’s just the cutest thing in the world he can give you a handshake a highfive AND EVEN SAY HIS NAME then we went home had a lovely conversation with James on the phone and fell asleep by 8:30pm
oops it’s blurry but i like what i’m wearing tonight + no bra on = a happy camper
i wonder what James would think lol
“I saw that nothing was permanent. You don’t want to possess anything that is dear to you because you might lose it.” — Yoko Ono
(via milkymind)
“When my husband died, because he was so famous and known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me — it still sometimes happens — and ask me if Carl changed at the end & converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again.
Carl faced his death with unflagging courage and never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief and precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive and we were together was miraculous - not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance… That pure chance could be so generous and so kind… That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space and the immensity of time… That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me and it’s much more meaningful…
The way he treated me and the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other and our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.”
